Football

No Homers online draft

Before I get to my all guys draft results, I must mention something that personifies the inherent success of launching my league. O RLY? YA RLY! (incidentally, our two-time champ…I know, bitch!) reported to me that she woke up on Sunday morning in a panic and her first thought was, “Shit! I forgot to set my line up!!! Oh wait, that’s next week, phew!” Let’s just say, Mama’s proud.

Later that day I was mulling over who I wanted to target in the boys draft and how I would fare as the only female, and my dear friend (and O RLY?’s man) said to me, “Don’t worry, you have the biggest shlong in both leagues.” Five glasses of wine in on Labor Day afternoon rendered this comment both hysterical and complimentary. I’ll just go with my initial reaction on that one.

So the No Homers draft is on a different site (Real Time Fantasy Sports vs. Yahoo! Sports), and is done online. Personally, I prefer the live offline draft if for no other reason than the camaraderie. I had last pick after keeper round (in which I was able to score Barber) because I was new, and made some iffy second turn picks, but we’ll see how it goes. Here are the draft results and some pictures.

Jordan begins No Homers draft
Jordan begins No Homers draft
    Keeper Round: B. Westbrook – The Emperor of Springfield, R. Moss – Nahasapeemapetilicious, J. Addai – Gastineautors, A. Peterson – The Dozers, S. Jackson – Mr. Sparkle, L. Tomlinson – Super Nintendo Chalmers, M. Barber – Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos, F. Gore – Up Yours Flanders, C. Portis – Eradicators, M. Lynch – Plow King Ryan, T. Brady – Burlington Booze Hounds, P. Manning – Otto-Man Empire

  1. Owens, Terrell DAL WR The Emperor of Springfield
  2. Jones-Drew, Maurice JAC RB Up Yours Flanders
  3. Johnson, Larry KAN RB Nahasapeemapetilicious
  4. Grant, Ryan GNB RB Eradicators
  5. Wayne, Reggie IND WR Plow King Ryan
  6. Edwards, Braylon CLE WR The Gastineautors
  7. Lewis, Jamal CLE RB Burlington Booze Hounds
  8. Fitzgerald, Larry ARI WR The Dozers
  9. Colston, Marques NOR WR Super Nintendo Chalmers
  10. Romo, Tony DAL QB MR Sparkle
  11. McGahee, Willis BAL RB The Otto-Man Empire
  12. Johnson, Andre HOU WR Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  13. McFadden, Darren OAK RB Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  14. Parker, Willie PIT RB The Otto-Man Empire
  15. Marshall, Brandon DEN WR MR Sparkle
  16. Turner, Michael ATL RB Super Nintendo Chalmers
  17. Jacobs, Brandon NYG RB The Dozers
  18. Bush, Reggie NOR RB Burlington Booze Hounds
  19. Brees, Drew NOR QB The Gastineautors
  20. Houshmandzadeh, T.J. CIN WR Plow King Ryan
  21. Holt, Torry STL WR Eradicators
  22. Taylor, Fred JAC RB Nahasapeemapetilicious
  23. Maroney, Laurence NWE RB Up Yours Flanders
  24. Jones, Thomas NYJ RB The Emperor of Springfield
  25. Roethlisberger, Ben PIT QB The Emperor of Springfield
  26. Johnson, Chad CIN WR Up Yours Flanders
  27. Palmer, Carson CIN QB Nahasapeemapetilicious
  28. McNabb, Donovan PHI QB Eradicators
  29. Young, Selvin DEN RB Plow King Ryan
  30. James, Edgerrin ARI RB The Gastineautors
  31. Johnson, Calvin DET WR Burlington Booze Hounds
  32. Holmes, Santonio PIT WR The Dozers
  33. Burress, Plaxico NYG WR Super Nintendo Chalmers
  34. Boldin, Anquan ARI WR MR Sparkle
  35. Witten, Jason DAL TE The Otto-Man Empire
  36. Jordan wishing she'd taken Brees over McFadden
    Jordan - wishing she took Brees over McFadden
  37. Smith, Steve CAR WR Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  38. Cotchery, Jerricho NYJ WR Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  39. Gates, Antonio SDG TE The Otto-Man Empire
  40. Stewart, Jonathan CAR RB MR Sparkle
  41. Graham, Earnest TAM RB Super Nintendo Chalmers
  42. Brown, Ronnie MIA RB The Dozers
  43. Forte, Matt CHI RB Burlington Booze Hounds
  44. Williams, Roy DET WR The Gastineautors
  45. Welker, Wes NWE WR Plow King Ryan
  46. Winslow, Kellen CLE TE Eradicators
  47. Chambers, Chris SDG WR Nahasapeemapetilicious
  48. Jennings, Greg GNB WR Up Yours Flanders
  49. Burleson, Nate SEA WR The Emperor of Springfield
  50. White, Roddy ATL WR The Emperor of Springfield
  51. Cutler, Jay DEN QB Up Yours Flanders
  52. Fargas, Justin OAK RB Nahasapeemapetilicious
  53. Mendenhall, Rashard PIT RB Eradicators
  54. Smith, Kevin DET RB Plow King Ryan
  55. Perry, Chris CIN RB The Gastineautors
  56. Evans, Lee BUF WR Burlington Booze Hounds
  57. Anderson, Derek CLE QB The Dozers
  58. Bowe, Dwayne KAN WR Super Nintendo Chalmers
  59. Williams, DeAngelo CAR RB MR Sparkle
  60. Hasselbeck, Matt SEA QB The Otto-Man Empire
  61. Garrard, David JAC QB Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  62. Manning, Eli NYG QB Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  63. Jones, Julius SEA RB The Otto-Man Empire
  64. White, LenDale TEN RB MR Sparkle
  65. Vikings, Minnesota MIN Def Super Nintendo Chalmers
  66. Gonzalez, Tony KAN TE The Dozers
  67. Coles, Laveranues NYJ WR Burlington Booze Hounds
  68. Harrison, Marvin IND WR The Gastineautors
  69. Favre, Brett NYJ QB Plow King Ryan
  70. Galloway, Joey TAM WR Eradicators
  71. Driver, Donald GNB WR Nahasapeemapetilicious
  72. Johnson, Rudi DET RB Up Yours Flanders
  73. Johnson, Chris TEN RB The Emperor of Springfield
  74. Ward, Hines PIT WR The Emperor of Springfield
  75. Berrian, Bernard MIN WR Up Yours Flanders
  76. Jones, Felix DAL RB Nahasapeemapetilicious
  77. McAllister, Deuce NOR RB Eradicators
  78. Gonzalez, Anthony IND WR Plow King Ryan
  79. Moss, Santana WAS WR The Gastineautors
  80. Stallworth, Donte’ CLE WR Burlington Booze Hounds
  81. Taylor, Chester MIN RB The Dozers
  82. Norwood, Jerious ATL RB Super Nintendo Chalmers
  83. Clark, Dallas IND TE MR Sparkle
  84. Chargers, San Diego SDG Def The Otto-Man Empire
  85. Williams, Ricky MIA RB Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  86. Patriots, New England NWE Def Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  87. Brown, Reggie PHI WR The Otto-Man Empire
  88. Morris, Maurice SEA RB MR Sparkle
  89. Williams, Reggie JAC WR Super Nintendo Chalmers
  90. hmm, and there goes DeShawn Jackson
    hmm, and there goes DeSean Jackson
  91. Jackson, DeSean PHI WR The Dozers
  92. Ginn Jr., Ted MIA WR Burlington Booze Hounds
  93. Crayton, Patrick DAL WR The Gastineautors
  94. Rice, Sidney MIN WR Plow King Ryan
  95. Steelers, Pittsburgh PIT Def Eradicators
  96. Cowboys, Dallas DAL Def Nahasapeemapetilicious
  97. Watson, Kenny CIN RB Up Yours Flanders
  98. Washington, Leon NYJ RB The Emperor of Springfield
  99. Slaton, Steve HOU RB The Emperor of Springfield
  100. Curry, Ronald OAK WR Up Yours Flanders
  101. Cooley, Chris WAS TE Nahasapeemapetilicious
  102. Green, Ahman HOU RB Eradicators
  103. Jackson, Fred BUF RB Plow King Ryan
  104. Rice, Ray BAL RB The Gastineautors
  105. Schaub, Matt HOU QB Burlington Booze Hounds
  106. Mason, Derrick BAL WR The Dozers
  107. Bulger, Marc STL QB Super Nintendo Chalmers
  108. Bennett, Drew STL WR MR Sparkle
  109. Young, Vince TEN QB The Otto-Man Empire
  110. Henry, Chris CIN WR Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  111. Bradshaw, Ahmad NYG RB Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  112. Stokley, Brandon DEN WR The Otto-Man Empire
  113. Porter, Jerry JAC WR MR Sparkle
  114. Warner, Kurt ARI QB Super Nintendo Chalmers
  115. Colts, Indianapolis IND Def The Dozers
  116. Jaguars, Jacksonville JAC Def Burlington Booze Hounds
  117. Rodgers, Aaron GNB QB The Gastineautors
  118. Bruce, Isaac SFO WR Plow King Ryan
  119. Engram, Bobby SEA WR Eradicators
  120. Smith, Kolby KAN RB Nahasapeemapetilicious
  121. Rivers, Philip SDG QB Up Yours Flanders
  122. Delhomme, Jake CAR QB The Emperor of Springfield
  123. Jackson, Vincent SDG WR The Emperor of Springfield
  124. Davis, Rashied CHI WR Up Yours Flanders
  125. Johnson, Bryant SFO WR Nahasapeemapetilicious
  126. Walker, Javon OAK WR Eradicators
  127. Toomer, Amani NYG WR Plow King Ryan
  128. Seahawks, Seattle SEA Def The Gastineautors
  129. Jones, Kevin CHI RB Burlington Booze Hounds
  130. Hackett, D.J. CAR WR The Dozers
  131. Hester, Devin CHI WR Super Nintendo Chalmers
  132. Bears, Chicago CHI Def MR Sparkle
  133. Gage, Justin TEN WR The Otto-Man Empire
  134. Branch, Deion SEA WR Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  135. Davis, Vernon SFO TE Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  136. Foster, DeShaun SFO RB The Otto-Man Empire
  137. Kitna, Jon DET QB MR Sparkle
  138. Bush, Michael OAK RB Super Nintendo Chalmers
  139. Taylor, Chris HOU RB The Dozers
  140. Jackson, Brandon GNB RB Burlington Booze Hounds
  141. Hightower, Tim ARI RB The Gastineautors
  142. Eagles, Philadelphia PHI Def Plow King Ryan
  143. Folk, Nick DAL K Eradicators
  144. Russell, JaMarcus OAK QB Nahasapeemapetilicious
  145. Hall, Andre DEN RB Up Yours Flanders
  146. Buccaneers, Tampa Bay TAM Def The Emperor of Springfield
  147. Packers, Green Bay GNB Def The Emperor of Springfield
  148. Ravens, Baltimore BAL Def Up Yours Flanders
  149. Miller, Heath PIT TE Nahasapeemapetilicious
  150. Giants, New York NYG Def Eradicators
  151. Gostkowski, Stephen NWE K Plow King Ryan
  152. Walter, Kevin HOU WR The Gastineautors
  153. Jackson, Tarvaris MIN QB Burlington Booze Hounds
  154. Garcia, Jeff TAM QB The Dozers
  155. Shockey, Jeremy NOR TE Super Nintendo Chalmers
  156. Battle, Arnaz SFO WR MR Sparkle
  157. Hagan, Derek MIA WR The Otto-Man Empire
  158. Gaffney, Jabar NWE WR Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  159. Kaeding, Nate SDG K Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
  160. Gould, Robbie CHI K The Otto-Man Empire
  161. Crosby, Mason GNB K MR Sparkle
  162. Dunn, Warrick TAM RB Super Nintendo Chalmers
  163. Rackers, Neil ARI K The Dozers
  164. Booker, Lorenzo PHI RB Burlington Booze Hounds
  165. Vinatieri, Adam IND K The Gastineautors
  166. Thomas, Pierre NOR RB Plow King Ryan
  167. Campbell, Jason WAS QB Eradicators
  168. Dawson, Phil CLE K Nahasapeemapetilicious
  169. Meachem, Robert NOR WR Up Yours Flanders
  170. Brown, Josh STL K The Emperor of Springfield
  171. Hardy, James BUF WR The Emperor of Springfield
  172. Graham, Shayne CIN K Up Yours Flanders
  173. Randle El, Antwaan WAS WR Nahasapeemapetilicious
  174. Ryan, Matt ATL QB Eradicators
  175. Pennington, Chad MIA QB Plow King Ryan
  176. Titans, Tennessee TEN Def The Gastineautors
  177. Reed, Jeff PIT K Burlington Booze Hounds
  178. Heap, Todd BAL TE The Dozers
  179. Scobee, Josh JAC K Super Nintendo Chalmers
  180. O’Sullivan, J.T. SFO QB MR Sparkle
  181. Betts, Ladell WAS RB The Otto-Man Empire
  182. Nelson, Jordy GNB WR Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
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