This week I watched Sunday Night Football with my opponent, Beansie. Thankfully I had company to ensure that I wouldn’t throw myself out of a window when I found out Phish was covering Little Feat’s “Waiting For Columbus” album for Halloween, one of my all-time favorites. I originally was supposed to shoot another episode of Monday Night Match Up Menus on Saturday and hence sacrificed the trip to Atlantic City. I figured they’d play a Zeppelin album and I’d be bummed to miss it, but deal. The shoot didn’t happen for me, nor did the show. But Beansie and I streamed it through my sound system and boogied in my living room while rooting on the Steelers and Saints. I made it through.
Monday I was in a home tech void. My internet was down, ESPN was coming in as digital snow, my cell service was its usual non-existent self, and my printer was out of ink. (That part had no bearing on my mood, but it made the list.) I left the house and went to The Hudson where every TV had Game 5 of the World Series on. But I got a section of the room to agree to some MNF. I met up with a friend and we watched the game and then went to see League Home Saucer, Dava Krause’s, stand-up routine at The Hotel Cafe.
One dude, I think the fifth act, Adam Hunter, gets on the stage and goes, “So, did everyone hear Randy Moss got traded again today?!?!”
I barely heard the Favre joke that followed.
“WHAT?!?!?” I shrieked.
Panicked, I frantically started fumbling with my iPhone to find out the story.
Couldn’t get on a network. Shocking.
He was already two jokes in when I couldn’t take it any longer…
“Wait, where did Moss get traded to?!?”
“Oh look, the hot girl is on her iPhone texting and needing to be really important during my act,” he says.
“Look buddy, I have far too big a mouth to be the hot girl, back up your football facts!”
Then he told me to shut up and stop interrupting his act and picked on me for the rest of the set.
We’re best of friends now.
As for the rest of the week… Disaster!
Today’s election day. Hallelujah! Can I vote for a redo on Week 8?
Shiso Spicy vs. Trash Truckers: 75.75 – 79.30
I picked up Sproles to fill my RB void, a good move, but not enough to carry the team. Foster forced fail!
Smack and Cheese vs. Woody’s Johnson: 79.21 – 114.54
Let’s count the times I played against Carpenter and Foster this week.
Pajama Drama vs. The Baked Beansies: 86.46 – 93.50
Rackers couldn’t save me. But Crabtree over Wallace would have.
Fat Sweaters vs. Laree Rocks: 103.10 – 67.80
Yes, I won in the league in which I own Dan Carpenter and didn’t play against him. See how that worked out? I’d also like to show that the so called “scrubs” I picked up to cover byes and injuries, Lance Moore and Mike Hart, did better than my regular characters in other leagues.
Golf Fart & Urinals vs. Sportsmack: 66.12 – 69.72
Manning couldn’t save me. But if he hadn’t thrown a TD to Wayne, he could have…
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos vs. Plow King Ryan 48.90 – 107.10
What is wrong with me?
Touch back with you next week,
oxoxo
– JZ
P.S. I totally ran into an old Jdate at Hotel Cafe. It wasn’t awkward, but he didn’t seem thrilled to see me….
Girls Guide to Sports 