Monday Night Matchups: Tennessee Titans at Jacksonville Jaguars

This Monday, the division rival party is in northern Florida (but southern USA) as the Jacksonville Jaguars host fellow below Mason/Dixon liners, the Tennessee Titans.
Our menu is as follows:
First Down: David Garrartichoke Dip – what’s football without a dip?

Second Down: Blueberry Blintze Young – my favorite named dish. I’m as proud of that one as I am of a 119 pt. word in words with friends.

Third Down: Chocolate Fig Apple Chrisp Johnson – This one’s really cool because each Chris Johnson run burns the calories off of this dish. Sweet, right?

Fourth Down: Mike Pimms Cup Walker – toast and catch a high ball.

David Garrartichoke Dip:

David Garrartichoke Dip

1 clove garlic, chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 cans (14 oz each) artichoke hearts, chopped
6 oz cream cheese
1/3 c sour cream
1/3 c mayonnaise
½ c Parmesan, grated
½ t red pepper flakes
2 T parsley, chopped
2 T oregano, chopped


Preheat oven to 375.
Saute onions and garlic until translucent.
Combine with the rest of ingredients in a big bowl and pour mixture into a greased baking dish.
Bake until bubbly (about 20 min).
Serve warm with chips of choice.


Bluberry Blintze Young

You ready to tackle the Blintze Young? You wanna Blitz the Blintze? OK, I’ll stop. This blintze is going to be well covered. One more, C’mon!

Crepe Batter
1 c milk
4 T cold water
2 eggs
1 c all-purpose flour
1 T sugar
¼ t salt
¼ c unsalted butter, melted

Combine the milk, water, eggs, flour, sugar, and salt in a blender. Blend until smooth. Add butter and blend it to incorporate. Refrigerate the batter for at least 1 hour to let it rest. I usually let it sit over night.

The crepe is flipped
Put an 10-inch crepe pan or nonstick skillet over medium heat and brush with a little melted butter. Pour a ladle full of batter into the pan and tilt the pan around so there is an even layer of the batter, (a method I call “pinball pan batter”). Cook for 30 to 45 seconds, until the batter sets. Flip the crepe. If you have time, you can practice flipping just with a HAIL MARY! flick of the pan. Or, if you’re Farve and you’re afraid you’ll just throw a pick, use a spatula. If you slide a spatula underneath (centrally), lift, and twist it 180 quickly, it should fall evenly pan in the pan. The crepes should be floppy, not crispy, and just browning. Slide them onto a platter and continue making the crepes until all the batter is used. (This makes about 8 crepes.)

Cheese Filling
10 oz. ricotta cheese (fresh is better – much smoother consistency, the grocery store ones get grainy)
4 oz. cream cheese
3 T sugar
1 lemon, zested and finely grated
2 T butter, melted
1 egg

In a food processor, combine all ingredients. Chill the filling for about an hour to firm it up. (I make it the night before with the batter…)

Blueberry Sauce
2 T butter
2 pints blueberries
½ c sugar
1 t cornstarch
1 lemon, juiced
½ t vanilla extract

Combine the butter, blueberries, sugar, cornstarch, and lemon juice in a small pot over medium-high heat. Bring up to a low boil and stir gently until the berries break down but are still chunky. Let it cool to thicken up.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Forming the blintzes is kind of like making mini wraps or burritos.
Spoon 2 T (heaping) of the cheese filling at the part of the crepe closest to you.

Fold the bottom edge away from you to just cover the filling; then fold the 2 sides in to the center.

Roll the crepe away from you a couple of times to make a cute little log package.

Place blintzes in a baking dish and bake for 10 min.

Spoon the blueberry sauce on top. I personally think powdered sugar is for pussies, but it’s your blintze, put whatever you want on top.
Look at you, you’ve sacked the Blintze Young!

Blueberry Blintze Young

Chocolate Fig Apple Crisp

Titans RB Chris Johnson who averaged as the #1 draft pick has been quietly showing up to work and leading the league with 6 rushing touchdowns through the first five games.
In other news, strawberry season is over. The carton I bought yesterday turned moldy on the way home from the Whole Foods just down the block.
It’s football season, people, get to know and love the fig.

Chocolate Fig Apple Chrisp Johnson

5 oz white chocolate chunks (I used a serrated knife on a block of chocolate)
5 oz milk chocolate chunks (same method, hi.)
12 oz (two boxes) black mission figs
2 sweet apples, cubed
1 ½ t tapioca, granulated
1 lemon, juiced
1 T lemon zest
pinch of salt
½ c white sugar
¾ c brown sugar
1 ½ c all purpose flour
½ c almond flour*
1 ¾ sticks butter, frozen (in small pieces – cut into T and then cut into 9 little ¼ “ pieces or so)
1 t almond extract

Preheat oven to 375.
In a 9 x 12 baking pan, add chocolate, fruit, tapioca, lemon juice, ¼ c sugar, and lemon zest. TOSS! Make sure all contents are evenly distributed.
Place sugars and flours and extract into a food processor and pulse until well combined. Add ½ of the butter pieces and pulse about ten times. Repeat with the rest of the butter until the dough is forming. If it is too dry, add a t of water.
Spread the dough on top of the berry mixture in the pan.
Bake on center rack for 30-35 minutes. The crumb should be golden brown and the berries should be bubbling. Remove from oven and let cool for about 15 minutes. Can be served hot or cold. You may want to add a cream to it (heavy, ice, whipped, etc.) or some yogurt when serving.
* To make almond four: grind 1 c whole raw almonds in a food processor until a grainy flour like consistency is obtained.


Mike Pimms Cup Walker

Mike Pimms Cup Walker

2 oz. Pimms
1 t lemon juice
½ Persian cucumber, par peeled (leaving a few stripes of green skin) and sliced into discs
splash Ginger Beer (NOT ginger ale! Cough, amateur!)
Apple garnish optional

Muddle the cucumbers in a high ball. (HOW on earth, did I live my life without a muddler until this year?!?!)
Squeeze in the lemon. Add ice. Add Pimms. Top with ginger beer. Stir. Garnish. Drink. Win.


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